Thank you so much. I’ll write more. It’s been a while and I started to fall asleep. <3
asked by Anonymous
There I was again, as lucid as ever. I could hear the ocean reaching for me just beyond the cliffs, like a million indigo arms pulling at the hem of my clothing from all directions but unable to get enough of a grasp for a good pull. Mermaids and mermen, faceless ex-lovers and foes, waving, crashing, dancing, waiting to pull me under into the abyss of my own anxiety of things that are no longer relevant. Faces I’ll never see again, memories I will sink with a thousand anchors before I consider missing such petty connections.
I was facing a much calmer, murky swamp. Undesirable to many compared to the mysterious salty blue behind me, but inviting for a ghost like myself. The water was, for the most part, still. Reptilian eyes spied in disguise among floating tree limbs and broad lily pads, eying the docked boats warily and occasionally sinking beneath the black surface. In the middle of this pool were three small A-frame houses kept afloat by hundreds of bottles, moving along inch by inch and only slightly swaying with the disturbed surface of the water as I stepped into a small canoe and took a seat.
A dim light flickered inside the triangular glass home to the left, furthest away. As the sun abandoned my back with haste, I paddled my boat towards the smaller light. It did not take long and I was grateful. The sky and the swamp were quickly merging into the same shade of black. I feared a fault would cause me to fall out of my boat, into a plane with no beginning and no end, like the space between stars and dwarf planets scattered throughout the Universe.
Maybe such an occurrence would not feel so dreadful, being lost in nonexistence; without push nor pull, disengaging human senses and drifting in empty space. Maybe, had I not had that orange flame quivering, beckoning from beyond glass panes in the walls, and my intuitive expectation of who sparked the match.
The boat bumped the wooden palette and bottle foundation and I tied my canoe to the protruding hook. Steadying myself on the doorstep of this home, I braced myself and gave the glass panels four swift knocks. Movement of some one beyond momentarily blocked out the candlelight, and the rotation of the doorknob made my heart constrict.
It was there, silhouetted with your back basking in a warm glow, the rest of the atmosphere the blackest of blacks, and the brilliant trail of the Milky Way parallel above us, that I saw you for the first time. I never wanted to lay eyes on anything else in the world in that moment.
There are actually people in the world that think they can live off of just light and air (no food, no water), so if you’re down on yourself or feeling stupid lately, just keep in mind that at least you are not convinced that you are a fucking cactus.